How to run a Secret Santa when everyone lives somewhere else
To run a long distance Secret Santa, collect the names, draw them online and send each person a private link by email or text. They scratch to see who they got, and nobody else can, not even you. Then agree on a budget that includes shipping, a mail-by date and a time to open everything together on video.
By bemypresent · Updated
The example
You can change all of it before you send it. Free, no sign-up.
Why the usual Secret Santa breaks down at a distance
In a living room, everyone pulls a name out of a hat and that's it. When people live in different cities, somebody has to do the draw for the whole group, and that person ends up knowing who got whom. It's usually the organizer, which means the one person who was supposed to be surprised isn't.
The other problem is the postage. In an r/work thread about a fully remote team, the first reply said shipping costs would be the biggest issue. A $25 limit means one thing for the person who drew a neighbor and something else for the one mailing across the country.
How to run it online, step by step
- Open Secret Santa on bemypresent and name your draw, something like “Friends and cousins Secret Santa.” You build it without an account.
- Under Participants, add 3 to 30 people. A name is enough, and an email for each is optional. If you're playing too, leave “I'm taking part too” on.
- Add a budget, an exchange date and a short note for everyone, up to 200 characters. The note is the place for your mail-by deadline.
- Tap “Make the draw and send” and confirm your email with a 6-digit code. Anyone with an email gets their link in their inbox.
- For everyone else, tap “Copy link” and text it to them privately. Each link belongs to one person.
When someone opens their link, they scratch the card and see who they drew, with the budget and the date. The link doesn't expire, and they can open it again to check: it asks them to scratch again each time.
What to agree on when everyone lives somewhere else
A budget that already includes shipping
If the limit is $25, say the postage counts. Otherwise whoever drew someone across the country spends twice as much as whoever drew a cousin down the street, and the group notices.
A mail-by date, not just an exchange date
December is when packages run late, so set a last day to ship with room to spare. Put it in the note, so it shows up right after the scratch.
One time to open everything on video
This is what makes it feel like a real Secret Santa. Put the time in the note and have everyone reveal who they drew on the call, one at a time.
Addresses without giving away the draw
bemypresent doesn't store addresses. One workaround is a shared sheet where everyone adds their own: each person only looks up the row of the name they drew, and nobody knows who looked at whose.
Couples who shouldn't draw each other
The editor has an option to mark who can't draw whom. Set it for each couple, and the draw only goes through when every rule can be met.
Other ways to do it, and when each one works better
A draw site with wish lists
Elfster and DrawNames work well if everyone has an email and you want each person to post what they'd like. bemypresent has no wish lists.
A virtual white elephant
For a small remote team, it can be a better party game: gifts are unwrapped on video and stolen from each other. One Reddit commenter hated the idea, though, so check that your group wants it.
One trusted person draws on paper
It works for a group of 4 or 5 who know each other. That person messages everyone privately, but they know the whole draw, and everyone has to trust them to keep it quiet.
One private link per person
That's what bemypresent does: the system makes the draw, each person scratches their own name, and not even the organizer sees who got whom. It suits scattered friends, big families and remote teams.
Messages to send the group
We're doing Secret Santa even though we all live in different cities. I'll text each of you a private link. Scratch it to see who you got. The limit is $25, shipping included.
Friendly reminder: if you drew someone across the country, you have until December 12 to ship. After that, Santa's running on January time.
We open the gifts on a video call on the 20th at 7 PM. Everyone reveals who they drew and opens what they got, one at a time. I'll send the call link the night before.
How to make it with bemypresent
Pick how it opens
A birthday, an anniversary, Christmas, a memory album or a box with a surprise inside.
Make it yours
Add the names, your photos and a message. You see it exactly as they will, and it saves as you type.
Publish it
Confirm your email with a code, no passwords. We send you the link and its QR code, and you'll find it in your account on any device.
Share it
By text, on WhatsApp or with the QR code printed inside a card. They open it on their phone, no app needed.
Frequently asked questions
Can you do Secret Santa virtually?
Yes. You make the draw online and send each person a private link. Nobody needs to be in the same room, and the gifts go by mail or get opened together on video.
Do people need to sign up?
No. The people who get a link just open it. The organizer builds the draw without an account and confirms their email with a 6-digit code when they make the draw.
Does the organizer see who drew whom?
No. The result stays on the server and only appears on each person's own link. The organizer scratches their own name like everyone else.
What if someone loses their link?
Each link doesn't expire and can be opened as many times as needed, scratching again each time. The organizer can copy anyone's link or resend the email.
How many people can join?
From 3 to 30. For a bigger group, run two draws, one per team, each with its own budget.